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How To Get Friend Zoned

oh god. hahahaha

Thought Catalog

Dear People of the Internet,

I write this for you after approximately eight years of (accidental) research. In fact, one might even call Justfriendistan my region of social expertise. I will happily write the converse of this article, “How To Not Get Friend Zoned,” if and when I manage to figure that out. In the meantime, I present to you 16 simple steps, that, if followed correctly, will leave you to suffer slow heartcrumble as you convince yourself that being their friend is better than nothing.


1. Use the word “dude” (“bro”, “bud”, and “homie” also come to mind) liberally. This is one of the fastest and easiest ways to score a touchdown in the friend zone. Note: if you are already being referred to by the Object Of Your Affection as “man” or anything equally chummy, read no further. You’re already in the friend zone. It’s okay, on…

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